not expensive wedding wears for summer
A phone call yesterday on the back of my adoption piece, reminded me of so many sad episodes I have been a part of.
Let me present a story.
A friend, Mrs Veronica A-B (not her real name) and her husband decided that it was best to go in search of greener pastures abroad. Not because the grass was not green here but they wanted it greener especially in the area of education, healthcare and security. A year after she relocated, she reached out to say her former nanny sent her a message to come back home because her husband had a new woman in his life. The nanny knew this because the steward told her so. I advised my friend to pay him an impromtu visit. not expensive wedding wears for summer
Two months after this conversation, this happened:
An aburo friend Liz (not her real name) who was 39 going on 40 called me to ask that I attend a small dinner she was hosting for her fiance. Priot to this invitation, she had told me about this guy, whom she said was going through a divorce and such that they had to keep the relationship under wraps. They were serious she said. One day I asked her to share his picture and she said that they reached an agreement to not take or share pictures. What is his name? B-A. The name did nothing a bell.
So off I went to this dinner. And lo and behold it was my friend Veronica's husband. Shock does not describe the way I felt. I did not pretend, I told my aburo straightaway that the guy was not telling her truth. I did not say what, but I told her that I could not be part of the mess and walked out. An hour later, AB/BA called me and went on and on about how I should not tell his wife and give him time to sort out things.
The day after the incident, my aburo came to see me. And I told her straight up that this her fiance had some explaining to do and even though I had no say in the matter, I could not support this union or be a part of the mess.
Long story short. He brought his wife down to Lagos, told her that he had fallen in love with this other lady. Whilst family meetings were going on, he was, on the other hand, begging my aburo to forgive him for lying and said it was because he did not want to lose her. And he was at the same time, going to my aburo's family to prostrate and beg them for deceiving their daughter.
A terrible mess it was for both women. His wife left, packed her things out of the, licked her wounds and went back to her kids.
My aburo, sought advice from her friends and many others and they told her to get pregnant. She did and has a child for this man. She lives with him now.
The man? I saw him last week, looking haggard and unhappy. And to deal with this unhappiness, he is still messing around. Lol...unrepentant man.
So who shall we blame for this mess? Your answer will depend on your values, your mindset etc. Shall we say it was my friend who left her husband in the first place? Or my aburo who fell in love with a man whom she thought was single? Or the man, who out of loneliness went chasing a woman whom he fell in love with?
Sometimes we do things that we ought not to do, thinking that we won't get caught, or we won't tarry in it, "let me have fun sharply, sharply". But the thing is,
fate has a way of twisting us in our own web of deceit such that we won't ever be able to repair the damage.
I have another story, a man who was cheating on his wife, became HIV positive could not tell his wife and refused to have sex with her. His wife still doesn't know his status and is confused!
Karma is a bitch they say. Not all the time, I agree, but when it is, it is.